In his professional life he was used to taking charge, of taking control and at times this bled into his personal life as well. His wife’s mother was unwell with widely spread cancer, she had been admitted into the hospice for symptom control of pain, breathlessness, and nausea. He had always been close to her right from their first meeting, he was probably closer to her than he was to his own parents, and even called her Mum. She had always been there for her children and their partners, and he really wanted to be there for her. He wanted to make sure that she was treated right, and he had a small inkling that his manner might come across as intimidating, but that was useful in police work. He just wanted to make sure that Mum was being well looked after, it was what she deserved.

She was a Pasifika lady in her early 60s, with end-stage cancer to her liver, lungs, and many bones. She was the frailest patient in our inpatient unit and I was worried that she might be dying. She was well cared for by her family who were always with her. Her husband of similar age, two daughters and a son-in-law, who I found out was a police officer. He had already caused a bit of a disturbance in the unit as he had spoken in an aggressive manner to some of our nurses, and was impatient. The family were all tired, worried about our patient, and stress levels were high. The family members all seemed to defer to the policeman who had taken on the role of family spokesman. The patient was fatigued but had not slept much in the past days because of uncontrolled pain. The first time I saw her I thought to myself that I wouldn’t be surprised if she crashes quickly.