The family were trying to protect our patient. They knew that his time would be short, that he would die soon. They didn’t want him to know this as the last time he had been given such bad news he had reacted poorly. They said he had been in tears for two days after the hospital doctors had told him bluntly that he could die at any time. They didn’t want a repeat of what had happened. If he only had a short time left they wanted him to enjoy it as much as possible. This was what his life partner wanted, the person who knew him better than anyone else. The love of his life.

Did he know what was going on? Probably. He had said he thought things were bad. We had not denied this. He was the one feeling every single discomfort. He was the one who was exhausted from lying in bed doing nothing. He was the one whose body continued deteriorating on an almost daily basis. He was the one who had asked to be admitted. He was worried about how his family were coping with looking after him at home. He had been told weeks prior to this admission that he possibly only had days left to live. When we asked him if there was anything he still needed to do, any unfinished business, the reply was,” No. I’ve done everything I can. I’ve done well. I have no regrets. I have a good family. We raised our children well.”

Our duty of care is to our patients. “First do no harm“ is the first principle we follow. Would telling him what he probably already knew be of benefit or would it cause harm? It was unclear as we didn’t know him well enough. For some people knowing they might only have a few days left could provide relief. They might be thankful that their suffering would not go on for much longer. For others, the short time left would provoke anxiety and distress. They would be upset by the thought of having to leave their family for the final time. If he were to directly ask us, we could not lie to him. But if he never asked we would not raise the question ourselves. His partner had made the decision. The survivors of his death had to be given the opportunity to do what was right for their family. No matter what would happen, we promised that we would try our best to keep him comfortable in what time remained.