Tag Archives: self-compassion

I think therefore I am? – Self-care needed to be prioritised, again

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Nickolas Nikolic on Unsplash

I found myself having to really question myself as to what I was doing. Professionally I was promoting self-care to everyone at work, and to the audiences at the lectures I was presenting. I felt like a fraud at times as I wasn’t practising what I was preaching myself. I had to do what it said on my packet I had to stop and have a break for myself. That meant a stop to the blogging and the daily writing. It was supposed to only be for a few weeks but it ended up being three months, and it was okay. I’ve restarted things again but at a smaller scale. I started timing myself for ten minutes a day. I would write for a minimum of ten minutes a day and what would appear would appear and we would see how it all went.

I was back again, writing daily, posting to the blog daily and it felt good. I hadn’t realised how much I had missed the therapeutic aspects of the writing. Also the writing community engagement had been missing over the three month period. I was back in the swing of things again and it was good to feel more like myself again. Some of the pieces of writing ended up being work pieces or parts of assignments I was doing for online courses. Things started feeling too stretched last week and I had to release the pressure again. People all around me in the different parts of my life were struck down by non-Covid viral illnesses and I wasn’t keen to join them. Instead of writing I went to bed. Instead of doing 15 minutes of Duolingo Spanish I only did the bare minimum to maintain my run streak. No-one was going to reward me with a badge for least amount of sleep had in a week. Gamification of my own health wasn’t worth it, in the real world it’s not so easy to spawn yourself back.

I’ve had another short break from the writing and I haven’t beaten myself up too badly over it. I am back again today and will be back again tomorrow. It’s the accumulated efforts over time that add up. What am I writing? My dailies which will become blog posts, which will become who knows? And that is okay. I just need to use the writing muscles again. To reactivate the nerve pathways. To gather up my energy again and make something with it. Daylight savings, travelling between time zones in the past week, and general life stuff have affected how I lived my life in the past fortnight. Other things out of my control have happened and have had to be dealt with. It will all be okay. All we can do is keep on going. One foot in front of the other. One word in front of another. We’ll see where we end up. We’ll see what comes of it all. Take it easy on yourself. There’s a lot going on. Be gentle and kind to yourself.

SCM – Take a Break

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Karim Mansour on Unsplash

Some interactions in palliative care with patients and their families can be hard to handle. e.g. breaking bad news to younger people. Some conversations are intense and emotionally draining. In any hospice inpatient unit (IPU) the staff may need to have a number of such conversations with different patients during any given ward round. Often the team may be about to visit the next patient and may still have remnants of the previous case on their mind. This is when I would lead everyone away for a short break.

It might be heading upstairs for a hot drink and a quick snack. A short walk outside for fresh air and a dose of sunshine or it might be heading out into the rain. A reset /restart button is activated. The team is led away from the site of upset feeling for five minutes of self and team care. A brief respite from the frontline. Good role modelling, leading by example.

We might only have been away for a short period of time but on our return we feel better and more open to tuning into the next patient’s problems with our full attention.

If you are a clinician why don’t you try adding small breaks into your schedule after intense patient encounters? Do they work for you?

I think therefore I am? – Duty

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Calle Macarone on Unsplash

I went to a funeral recently and I was surprised by what the Buddhist Nun was telling the gathering. She talked about the departed having asked her to come and see them. The nun said she had been reluctant to do so as she didn’t feel comfortable seeing old people. I was taken aback as most of the funeral attendants were well past retirement age. I thought the nun had revealed too much of her personal views rather than the professional views for which people sought her out. When one of her temple followers needed her, she had made herself unavailable. I was not impressed by her dereliction of duty.

Everyone is entitled to their personal views and ideas. When they come to see you in a professional setting they are there for your best professional self, and not the personal self which might have different ideas and values. Patients and their families hope to be listened to, to be understood, and have individualised/bespoke care provided. How would you like it to be for you if the tables were turned? What kind of care would you want?

I think therefore I am? – Brazilian Jiu Jitsu as a holistic self-care practice

Posted on by
Reply

I virtually attended a self-care workshop in Canberra today. I prioritise and practise self-care daily as outlined here. I still found it good to have a refresher on the importance of self-care for homo sapiens in general, but especially so for us palliative care practitioners.

The presenters pointed out the great resources available from Palliative Care Australia which have been produced by Palliverse’s own Dr Jason Mills. The downloadable PDF can help you design your self-care plan. I think all palliative care practitioners could have this as part of their personal development plans. The work we do is different, we come face to face with other people’s death and dying several times a day in clinical practice.

The session on self-compassion was another useful reminder to me, as I had completed a six-day self-compassion-focused wellness retreat three years ago. During this, I learnt to speak to myself as if I was speaking to a good friend who needed my considerate help. Our inner self-talk can be too harsh and over-critical. We are often too hard on ourselves and this can be self-destructive.

An Aotearoa/New Zealand approach to self-care would need to cover domains of the NZ Maori Health Model – Te Whare Tapa Wha. Wairua – Spiritual, Tinana – Physical, Hinengaro – Emotional, Whanau – Familial/Social. Training in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ) has been an addition (some would say addiction) to my self-care practices and it helps me to cover all four health walls. Physical exertion has led to muscle gain and weight loss. BJJ has taught me to be more emotionally resilient and I feel I can handle more of everything. Regular exposure to the painful stimulus of joint locks and choke attempts has provided small doses of suffering. I can control myself in uncomfortable positions and it has helped with ego control. It is okay to tap out when you are beaten. I feel I have joined a family or community of practice and have befriended a culturally and age diverse bunch of people. In terms of spirituality, I feel more connected to my body as during BJJ training you have to be totally present in your body and attuned to what your opponent is doing. It can be a real escape from the daily grind of the rest of your life. If your mind wanders during a rolling session before you know it your joints might be in painful positions or your neck is being choked.

Yes, last week I did break my finger tip extensor tendon and have to wear a finger splint for 12 weeks. I returned to training this week and have been modifying my approach to protect the healing fingertip.

I think therefore I am? – Take a Break

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by JOYUMA on Unsplash

It’s important to be able to switch off and take a rest. We are human beings and are not robots and though we need time to recharge our batteries. There is only so much time we can work before we need to take a break.

We cannot be on duty 24 hours a day as we need some time out from the grind. A job is a job, it can’t be your life, no matter how much you like or love your job. Are you in your job for the right reasons? Who are you doing your job for? Is it for the money or the prestige? For fame and glory?

What impact do you want to have on this world we all live in? What is your definition of success? What will it mean for you to have achieved your goals? What sort of difference do you want to make on other people?

On your days off try not to check your emails. Leave your calendar alone. They will still be there after your short break. They won’t be pining after you, and probably could do with some time away from you as well. There will always be work to fill up any spaces in your day. Nature abhors a vacuum and will find something to fill in your time.

As children we can’t stand being bored, every waking minute needs to be filled with 60 seconds of stimulation. As an adult I long to have a chance to be bored. Each minute is filled with 120 seconds of tasks to be done. There are too many interesting things to do. Too many distractions in life. Becoming bored will allow for some creativity to sneak back into your life.

Allow yourself some down time. Who knows what will pop up? You are not a robot, and even robots need maintenance time and care to run efficiently. Take it easy on yourself. Show yourself some self-care and self-compassion. You deserve it.

Guest Post – PRR -THE FREEDOM OF FORGIVING

Posted on by
Reply
Photo supplied by PRR

I often meet people who cannot forgive. Even after many years they keep telling the same old stories about how they have been treated unjustly or how they have been cheated, deceived, belittled, or hurt.

The reasons for resentment can be many, with feelings of disappointment, anger, and even hatred quite common. We are not perfect, so how can we expect others and our relationships with them to be perfect. That’s how life is, we all make mistakes. That’s how we learn and grow.

Sometimes with the best intentions, we make situations worse – we want to help someone but instead increase their suffering. Often we lack the wisdom to really see what actions are required or to understand when to act and when not to.

When you see your own limitations and faults, then it is easier to understand and accept those of others. You can then forgive and let go.

Continue reading →

I think therefore I am? – Mindful Room Reading

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Tyrell James on Unsplash

I’ve been practising Mindfulness meditation for the past seven years and I feel that it helps me to tune into my patients’ situations better. I still do my usual alcohol hand rub routine prior to entering each room, to bring myself into focus, to be present in the room.

I need to take in the whole atmosphere of the room, who else is in there, how are they interacting with each other. What is the emotional temperature of the space. It might be an inpatient room, an outpatient clinic, a hospital room, or at a patient’s home that I find myself.

A quick survey of the environment prior to beginning the assessment proper is useful. You look for extra equipment in the room. A commode chair can indicate difficulty with mobilising. Monkey bars or bed levers may confirm restricted independence. Is there equipment in the room, like oxygen tubing, oxygen concentrators, nebuliser or suction systems. Are there any hand held devices such as inhalers of sprays that the patient could give to themselves? Any walking aids? A sensor mat would indicate confusion and possible delirium. Not safe to transfer independently. Urinary catheter bags and tubes, and other drainage devices.

With observation alone you can find a lot of information, even before speaking to them. All of the above is assessed within the first 30 seconds of meeting someone. You also check out their visitors at the same time.

Continue reading →