Palace of Care – Second Languages Part 2

Photo by Jaddy Liu on Unsplash

I had been on call for the hospital when the little old Chinese man had first presented to hospital. They had discussed his situation, a large stomach cancer which kept on bleeding, and that his Hb level was only 41. My opinion was that he was dying from recurrent bleeding that could not be stopped. My advice was that the hospital team have a discussion with the patient and family about the fact that his bleeding would be a life-ending event, that further transfusions would not be able to keep up with the amount of bleeding that was happening.

Some of my advice was taken, but not everything. It was as if the hospital doctors had spoken to me in a second language, one that didn’t lead to mutual understanding. They did end up having a conversation with the patient and his daughter about no further transfusions, but this was after transfusing one more unit of blood. The hospital doctor could speak Mandarin with the patient and family. He told them that the last unit of blood was an, “especially strong unit of blood, and would give him an extra boost.” Following this final transfusion the patient was sent across to the hospice.

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Palace of Care – Race Against Time

Photo by Shirly Niv Marton on Unsplash

I gently knocked on the door and then poked my head around the corner. I paused briefly before walking in and saw him sitting there holding his wife’s hand. He bent down and talked gently into her ear. They had only been married for 62 years, and had been together as a couple much longer. She had looked after him well according to his daughter, he had always been treated like a king. In recent years Dementia had meant that he had needed more care than ever. His queen kept him in line but as her health deteriorated she could not keep up with him.

She had lived with her daughter, son-in-law and had practically raised their children. The grandchildren were emotionally close to her and had spent six to eight weeks with her over the Christmas break before heading back to their overseas-based lives. Since her cancer diagnosis seven months ago, she had been cared for by her youngest daughter. She had to keep a close eye on her husband, as he was a flight risk. At times he didn’t even recognise her as she had recently lost a lot of weight. He would ask, “Who is the nice old lady?” With a few prompts he could be reorientated to the love of his life.

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Palace of Care – Two of a kind

Photo by Fallon Michael on Unsplash

He was never alone when he was young, his sister would always be with him. They started off their friendship in the womb but didn’t really see each other for the first time until they came out into the light. Ah, that’s what you look like, quite similar to me, but different. I’m the oldest out of us two, even if it is only five minutes between us. The eldest is entitled to greater respect. Their siblings suddenly had two more siblings to make up the family, a little boy and a little girl.

They went to the same schools all the way through primary, intermediate and high schools, and it was only in university that their paths diverged. Ending up in different careers and then meeting their partners, always maintaining the bond of their twin-ship even across thousands of miles of ocean. The next generation would also have multiple births, he and his wife had a set of twins but unfortunately their little youngest did not survive. One of their biggest tragedies, the death of a child, so against the natural order of life. Life had to move on, they had the rest of their children to bring up. Life was busy with work, family was always emphasised as being the most important.

Children grow up so fast, and theirs became useful additions to society, good people that he had guided to adulthood. He was proud of them all, and then the grandchildren arrived to make a good life even better. Lovely young kids that enjoyed hanging out with Grandpa and Grandma, also lovely that at the end of the day they could be given back to their parents. Grandparents are there to provide good fun, but not to be the unpaid caregivers was their policy. It had worked so far. Their overseas daughter video-called them, they hadn’t seen her in person due to the effects of Covid over the past two years. She couldn’t contain her smile, she glowed when they talked to her. “Mum, dad I’m pregnant, it’s going to be twins!” Continuing the family tradition into the next generation. Things were really good.

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Palace of Care – Father and Son

Photo by Vinicius “amnx” Amano on Unsplash

Covid 19 the gift that keeps on giving. Why does it have to be so generous? It has affected everyone and everything in the world, and the hospice is no different. We have had to impose visiting restrictions on our patients and their families in order to limit spread of the virus. Covid restrictions and quarantine requirements have led to some of the most upsetting situations that I have witnessed during my career.

When someone is dying, it is natural to want to be with them, to support them in their moment of need. They were there for you when you needed them the most, and you want to reciprocate if you can. Even before Covid it could be difficult to travel back home thousands of miles, trying your best to make it before your loved one dies. During Covid it has been that much worse.

My patient came in because of severe pain, a common reason for admission for many of my patients. His wife accompanied him, and they both looked exhausted. His pain had been poorly controlled over the weekend, and the nights had been especially long. The medications did not seem to work for long, they gave him a brief period of respite before the pain would come right back. It was almost cruel to be granted that small packet of relief, and then it would be roughly dragged out of his grasp again. This cycle repeated itself over what felt like a long two days. By Monday they needed help and he was admitted into hospice.

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I think therefore I am? – International Journal of Whole Person Care – COVID-19 special issue

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

To read real stories of courageous healthcare professionals from 6 countries risking their own lives to save ours during the COVID-19 pandemic click here.

I think therefore I am? – Online wellbeing resources from the NZ Mental Health Foundation

5ways

Wellbeing resources for frontline healthcare workers are available from the NZ Mental Health Foundation’s website – this easy to navigate website includes lots of useful tips for this difficult time we all find ourselves in. As well as links to websites, Frequently Asked Questions, and downloadable resources.

allright

On a similar theme is their well-designed All Right? website which also includes links to their getting through together campaign designed with COVID-19 in mind. Plenty of good wellbeing ideas for all age groups are contained in this vibrant, colourful and energetic looking website. Well done NZ Mental Health Foundation!

Both of these websites are well worth a deeper exploration and may be helpful to yourself and others in your bubbles.

Stay safe and take care.

I think therefore I am? – If only there was an App to help us through COVID-19…

Mentemia

My 10 year old son and I watched a story about the Mentemia App on TV last night. Mentemia means ‘my mind’ in Italian.

Mentemia is a wellbeing App that has been co-developed by NZ’s Sir John Kirwan, famous former All Black and long-time Mental Health Advocate. Mentemia is currently free to download for all New Zealanders thanks to a funding deal between Mentemia and the NZ Ministry of Health. It is available on the Google Play and Apple App Stores.

We downloaded it last night and we both started using it.

It has a nice user interface and is easy to navigate, with good use of Simple English throughout. We found the interactive exercises fun to do, and things like spinning the wheel to choose a daily act of kindness to perform are also cool additions.

The ability to record how your mood is at anytime will be useful.

Lots of links to useful videos and articles to read, including lots of staying calm through COVID-19 articles.

At first glance Mentemia looks like an useful wellbeing app that we will both be returning to on a daily basis.

Some parts of the app are still a bit buggy, so far we’d give it a 7/10.