I think therefore I am? – Sales Pitch

Photo by Artem Beliaikin on Unsplash

Different healthcare cultures lead to different healthcare and expectations. If you have the money you can buy almost any treatment it depends on what people are willing to sell, and the cost that is being charged. There is a large market that caters to desperation. Nothing else has worked, come and see us, and we will keep you alive. If it doesn’t work it isn’t our fault, you probably didn’t follow the strict protocol correctly. You didn’t try hard enough. Sorry our treatments is so good but we can’t offer a money back guarantee. It’s so good that you won’t need your money back. It also cures…whatever else you have. No what I’m selling is not too good to be true, it is truly good. Those other doctors haven’t had as much training as I have. They were just trained in traditional Western or Eastern medicine. I am an advanced practitioner and I will be able to help you. Join our subscription model and start saving your life now. Just one easy monthly payment via direct debit. Don’t worry about the billing we will just collect the money ourselves as customer satisfaction is our top priority. It’s a real bargain my cold-pressed extra-virgin snake oil…

Drink this potion, apply this lotion, move your body in this motion.

Use this poultice, made without artifice, I have 40 years of practice.

It looks bigger on the scan, that’s just a scam, your disease our treatment will slam.

What else can we do, what do you mean you can’t poo, none of our happy patients would ever sue.

Why would you want a treatment pause, didn’t you read the last clause, it’s all ours now what was yours.

You did it all wrong, you didn’t follow along, our medication is strong.

The price has to increase, the supply of this rare element is about to cease, yes we extract it from fleas.

You can’t get out of bed, that’s all in your head, why don’t you try harder instead.

We will now have to intercede, our service you will always need, otherwise your cancer will grow at speed.

Sorry we can’t answer right now, our attention we cannot allow, we are too busy saving lives to take a bow.

It worked for everyone else, it even cleared up that guy’s welts, it’s your attitude that smells.

What you’ve run out of funds, you can’t afford the frankfurters just the buns, well sorry we have to runs.