Palace of Care – Middle-Earth Misgivings

Photo of Tawhai Falls by Luca Calderone on Unsplash

He had moved over to New Zealand because of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. He had loved the scenery in those movies and had wanted his son to grow up in the country that the films had been made. They’d moved over six years ago, and had worked hard since arrival, building a better life for themselves.

He and his wife were high school sweethearts, they were also University classmates and after graduation they had married. Their son was now 10 years old. They had settled in Auckland and devoted a lot of time into growing their own demolition business.

Their idyll was smashed by the wrecking ball of illness when he suddenly had a seizure. He couldn’t remember what happened but it had been frightening for his wife and son. He regained consciousness in hospital and bad news was related to them. He had a mass in his brain. A scan of his body revealed a lung cancer. He didn’t smoke, and had no family history of cancer. Bad luck had brought cancer into his life, and it had spread aggressively to his liver, to the other lung, and into his brain causing the seizure. It ignored his behest, “You shall not pass!”

He talked about his regrets. He had moved thousands of miles away from his family in Asia, all the way to this country with the beautiful scenery. They had worked so hard that they never had time to leave Auckland, he had barely crossed the Auckland Harbour Bridge. He had never seen in person the spectacular vistas that had drawn him and his family over. He wished he had spent more time with his only son. He knew that he would be leaving his wife soon and she would have to raise their boy alone, that nothing could stop him from dying.

Agonised tears flowed like the waters of the Tawhai Falls, where Gollum was filmed catching a fish, another place he never had a chance to visit. His desolation much worse than any a dragon could’ve wrought.

I think therefore I am? – Life can literally be too short

Photo by Heather Zabriskie on Unsplash

You’d think that we know this all too well working in palliative care/hospice but we are just as human as everyone else. We also get lost in the busyness of life in general. Rushing from one appointment to the other and having to switch roles as seamlessly as possible. I am no different to anyone else. I don’t have all the answers and am still searching for them myself but I want you to have a think about some questions I raise below.

Life is too short could be a stimulus to reflect on how you spend your time. Are you in a job that you actually enjoy? Do you feel like you are making a difference. We spend a lot of our time at work, 8 or more hours a day, maybe for 40+ hours a week, month after month, year after year. A big chunk of our lives is spent at work, and you may be spending more time with your workmates than you spend with your own loved ones, friends, and family. Are you happy at work or is there something else you’d rather do, somewhere else you want to be? Does it still satisfy you professionally? Are you finding yourself enjoying what you do or do you find yourself putting up with things? What would be your outlook on your job if you only had 10 years left to live? These are questions that we don’t ask ourselves, but are situations that my patients have found themselves in.

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