Tag Archives: legacy

Palace of Care – Deadline

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Photo by Tim Gouw on Unsplash

The work was different in the past week. In between clinical tasks, I worked to meet a different deadline. I wasn’t writing my own work, instead, I had assumed the role of publisher.

One of my patients had written five books and had always wanted to have them published. In recent weeks he became critically unwell and was unable to publish his books himself. Thanks to what I had learned over two years as a member of Writing In Community I started helping him publish his books using Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing.

Last week I had a different kind of deadline pressure to work under. I wanted to publish his books before he died. Every day his condition worsened. His time was running out. I still had other patients to review.

In my spare time, I worked on his books. Preparing cover pages. Adjusting blurbs. I didn’t have enough time to edit the over 1000 pages of words. It meant a few late nights and I ended up arriving for a video interview with less beauty sleep than I had intended. Would I make it in time? Would he still be physically capable of viewing his own e-books? I wasn’t sure, he was deteriorating every day, becoming sleepier and more unwell. He was dying

I converted the MS Word documents into epub books. I took my laptop into his room and showed my patient the finished products. Not a perfect job at all but good enough in the time constraints I was under. Phew!

I confirmed with him when he wanted the books to go live. Books two to five could go live right away. For Book One, the most personal one, he wanted me to wait until a month after his imminent death.

The next morning he wasn’t able to speak to me any more.

I wasn’t surprised when the month countdown started less than a day later.

Palace of Care – Songs of Gratitude and Connection

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Photo by Noah Buscher on Unsplash

This morning’s Waiata Singing Practice was special. Our team were joined by three generations of our late patient’s whānau/family who returned to the hospice a week after his death. We all crammed into the big patient lounge which has a view of the local park through the windows.

The whānau sang original songs that had been composed by our late patient, their husband/brother/father/father-in-law/grandfather. A man of musical and poetical talent who had shared his knowledge with his children and the many other schoolchildren he had taught.

His songs were written in a combination of Te Reo Māori and English. Integration of the different cultures had always been on this songwriter’s mind. He had led by example and his family did him proud this morning. They sang from their hearts and channelled his voice.

They shared with us precious gifts this morning with their spine-tingling renditions of beloved family songs. The beautiful whānau harmony uplifted us all. Even the most battle-hardened palliative care physicians were overcome by a sudden attack of hay fever.

They thanked us for the care we had provided to their loved one and their whānau members. “His wairua/spirit felt cared for here, that’s why he wanted to come back at the end.”

We thanked them for allowing us the privilege of looking after their loved one.

Our connection was further affirmed when both the whānau and our gathered staff sang a final waiata together, Purea Nei.

We promised to meet again.

Palace of Care – Hospice Garden Centre

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Photo by Tim Cooper on Unsplash

“Doctor, I’ve got a fundraising idea for the hospice.”

“Aha?”

“I’ve been going for walks around the garden and there are a lot of nice plants. Some of them you can’t find in garden centres. Has the hospice ever thought about selling plants?”

“No, we haven’t.”

“Here’s a photo of some plants I noticed. They have self-propagated themselves and are growing well. Do you think I could make a donation in exchange for two of the plants?”

“I’ll check with the gardening team, but I think that will be fine if there are a lot of the plants. What are you thinking of doing with the plants?”

“I’d like to plant them in my garden. You’ve all looked after me so well during my admission. I’d like to maintain some connection to hospice even after I am gone. So later on when my children see the plants in our garden they will remember my time in hospice as a good time.”

“That sounds nice. I’ll get our team onto it and we’ll make it happen. Don’t worry about the donation.”

“No Doctor, I must insist. I know my donation will benefit other patients.”

“Okay, Deal made.”

Palace of Care – A Change of Plans

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Photo by Adam Borkowski on Unsplash

We knew he would die soon and we asked him if he wanted us to contact anyone. He told us he would like his son to know, but he didn’t have his phone number. By this time he was too unwell and needed help with communication via social media. Our nurses helped him to send a message via his accounts. He died before he received any replies.

As per his wishes, we had arranged for a funeral director to uplift his body as he had wanted a simple cremation. He had limited savings and arrangements had been made with social welfare for a funeral grant to pay for his cremation. Our nurses again checked his social media accounts and found a reply from his son, including a phone number. A phone call was made overseas and was answered by the young man’s foster mother. She was told of our patient’s death, and said that his son wanted to come over to see him, and would arrive in town in three days’ time.

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I think therefore I am? – If You Had A Choice

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Photo by Vladislav Babienko on Unsplash

At a palliative care conference years ago the audience was asked to choose between two options. Would you rather die instantly without warning or would you rather know about it and die more gradually? We were instructed to think through both options for a few minutes before a show of hands was counted for each option.

Dying instantly, for example from a cardiac arrest, would mean less suffering for the dying person. It’s possible it wouldn’t be so bad for the person going through it. No fear of what was about to happen to them would be generated as they would be taken by surprise.

Ignorance may well be blissful but would have drawbacks as well. Total loss of control, and inability to finish important business. You’d be robbed of the chance to say goodbye to those important to you. You wouldn’t be able to leave your intended legacy. Death is associated with loss and sudden death is associated with its own set of losses. Those left behind would also lose the opportunity to say goodbye to you, to obtain at least some sense of closure. Survivor’s guilt, “If I had known he was about to die I would never have left them alone at home.” There may be more suffering for your loved ones, so many things they will never be able to say to you again.

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