Guest Post – Naomi’s Notes – Waiting for an Invitation

Photo by Joshua Lanzarini on Unsplash

Two things are certain in this life,  we are born and we will one day die.   The time of death is uncertain, and in our life between these two we try and be of benefit to our families, community, country and the world at large.

We are all part of the same human family; we are all interconnected.  This has been highlighted  over the past two years with the pandemic.  News bulletins brought us graphic images of family and friends mourning because they were not able to be with their loved ones before death and for the funeral.  Harrowing images of countries being in lockdown showed us so many people dying daily and corpses being loaded into trucks heading to the cemetery for mass graves.   

For a while the world went quiet as we all felt the sorrow of people who were unknown to us, as well as the fear of what lay ahead.  We each dealt with it differently according to our cultural background and conditional on whether we are able to face our own mortality.

Fear is a feeling that comes usually because we don’t know about the issue that is confronting us, we have no experience with it, and we can’t predict what is going to happen.  We don’t know what to do.  Losing confidence in ourselves, we get shaky.

It is an indictment on us all that we can talk to someone on the other side of the world and even in space through technology, but because of fear avoid face-to-face communication with a work-mate or someone we see every day, or people within our own family… but especially someone who is dying.

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PIANO Lessons – First meeting

Photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash

Years ago I received a cold-call email from a teacher at one of the local primary schools. Naomi Lees had read my bio on the Hospice New Zealand Conference website. This was a conference at which I was a keynote speaker. Naomi said that from my bio it sounded like we had common interests and she invited me along to her primary school’s networking meeting.

I had always loved the idea of compassionate communities and thought it would be a good opportunity to connect with one of the local communities we serve. I was keen to meet Naomi, her school principal and other community members, at the PIANO (Papakura Information and Networking Opportunity) meeting. A cool name and I wondered what kind of music we would produce together.

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#PallANZ tweet chat

PallANZ 201512

Grief and loss is something we will all face at different times throughout our lives. Whether it is the death of our pets, our friends, our children, siblings or parents; the experience and expression of grief in response to these losses can be a very personal and individual thing. Grief can also arise in anticipation of loss. For those living with life-limiting illness, living with the loss of social role and professional identity can be especially challenging.

Thoughts about old, new and future losses can be particularly common during the festive season. For some of us, it may represent an anniversary of the death of a loved one, and bring with it painful memories of loss. Some might be facing their first Christmas ‘alone’, while others may be grappling with the possibility of celebrating their ‘last Christmas’.

While living with grief and loss is a personal experience, we don’t have to endure it on our own. As a community, there are many ways that we can support each other. Join us to talk openly about living with grief and loss.

TOPIC                    Living with grief and loss

DATE / TIME       10th December, 2015 @ 1900 AEDT

MODERATOR     @Elissa_Campbell

T1 Have you experienced grief and loss? How would you describe it? And what did you need from those around you?

T2 How do children live with grief and loss? How are they different from adults?

T3 What kinds of support are there for people living with grief and loss in your community?

T4 As a community and as individuals, how can we better support those living with grief and loss during the festive season?