Palace of Care – Back to the Whenua

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

Things were changing on an almost daily basis. Worsening fatigue led to less activity and more sleep. His appetite was dwindling away as his pains continued to grow. He told us he wanted to go to where he came from. Back to his ancestral homelands. He wanted to revisit where he had grown up. He wanted to see his extended family again. His window of opportunity was closing. If he didn’t go soon he would not be able to. The clock continued to tick away. Time was running out.

No-one knew how the trip up North would go but he was so keen to try. One last road-trip with all of his children. It would be the first time his youngest had ever been away from home. He wanted to introduce his new baby to the rest of the family. To show her where he came from. She probably wouldn’t remember much as she was too young, but everyone else would. “That photo was taken when Dad took you home for the first time.”

We wished him luck as he gathered himself and left the hospice for the weekend.

I think therefore I am? – Final Farewells?

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

Life can be full of uncertainty and the same is true for dying. When will it occur? The doctors don’t really know, they can only give their best guess. The ones who give an exact time are likely out of their depth and answer with false confidence. Three weeks. Three days. Three hours. Medical science is not that exact yet. Maybe someday there will be a test that will tell people exactly how long they have left to live. Not available yet.

Sometimes people will say their goodbyes too soon. They carefully choose their words as it might be the last time they ever see each other again. Could it be the final farewell? Yes, it could be. We’d better say what we really need to say just in case it is the last chance we ever get. A final chance to connect with a loved one. A final chance to heal or to hurt. A final chance to say what a person means to you. A chance to wish them all the best for the future you won’t be a part of. A final chance to share one last rendition of a long-standing private joke. One last hug. At least you had a chance to see them before it was too late. Not everyone makes it in time, which has been particularly painful in these COVID-affected years. So close, but yet so far. So much suffering.

Why do we leave things unsaid until we know a person is dying? Could we have told them the truth earlier when we were both fit and healthy? All of us who live will at some stage die. It could happen to any of us, not everyone gets the chance to say goodbye to the important people in their lives. Sudden deaths can happen without any warning. Accidents happen all of the time through no fault of anyone. What would you regret not telling someone today, if you were to die tomorrow? Death could happen to any one of us, at any time.

If you both can still see each other the next day, consider it a bonus.

I think therefore I am? – Health(?) System Reforms

Photo by Towfiqu barbhuiya on Unsplash

I’ve worked as a medical doctor for almost 23 years. In all of that time I have not worked in a health system but in a sickness system. The last 15 years of my career I have worked in palliative care where we deal with the end of sickness, the end of life. I look after people who are dealing with the consequences of Diabetes and other long-term conditions that people die of. People of Māori and Pasifika ethnicity in the community I serve die of these diseases and cancers at much earlier ages than the rest of the population.

In hospice/palliative care we pride ourselves on providing whole person care through a Te Whare Tapa Whā lens. Health is not just about tinana/physical health but must also include wairua/spiritual health, hinengaro/emotional health and whānau/social health. Why do we save the best care till last? All people of Aotearoa New Zealand should be receiving whole person care from pre-cradle until after grave.

With the New Zealand health reforms we have an opportunity to transform our health system into a wellbeing system. We have an opportunity to transform the lives of generations to come, to give them the opportunity for better quality of life, throughout their entire life span. Why save the best for last? What can you do today to make for a better tomorrow? Together we can do this, but it will require different mindsets.

That’s the way it’s always been done.