Bedside Lessons – 12. Zero Degrees Kelvin

Photo by Long Ma on Unsplash

Times of crisis can bring out the best or the worst in people. This is a tale from the dark side.

Before she became ill everything seemed to be perfect. Happily married to the love of her life, they were proud of their three adult children. The eldest already married and had produced the perfect grandchild. Second child a beautiful daughter who was talented, and about to enter the workforce. Youngest son, mummy’s boy, had started university and was on his way to doing something useful with his life. The family portrait was beautiful, three generations of the family all dressed in white shirts and blue denim jeans. What a beautiful family, united in their faith and religion. Stalwarts of the church, the example that the congregation all worked towards becoming. The golden family.

Illness arrived and caused major distress. The mother had always had alternative views to healthcare, had wanted naturally based treatments or no treatments at all. Unfortunately due to metastatic cancer she had to consider many different treatments, and many different medications to treat her symptoms. This soon became a torment for her, challenging her core beliefs. She tried to handle her pain as much as she could but it was so deep, so pervasive, so severe that even her iron will started to rust, to bend beyond it’s inherent structural integrity.

She was admitted in a pain crisis, having not slept for 10 days, woken by pain, exhausted with her family at their wit’s end as well. A highly distressing situation for them all. The facade of perfection had also started to crumble.

Continue reading

I think, therefore I am? – Please take a seat

What the heck was going on in the lounge? A patient’s family and the doctors were sitting on the floor with their legs crossed. Were they about to break out into song? Kumbaya my lord, Kumbaya…? Was this part of the Hospice Yoga Initiative? Mat-time at a new New Zealand charter school? No, it was actually a family meeting.

Family meetings are common occurrences in healthcare settings and are organized in order to convey a point of view, or to try to bring together disparate points of views. These events may actually be the first chance that some of the key stakeholders, i.e. the family and the healthcare team, actually have to meet each other. The first time that the next of kin has made time to meet with the health care team looking after their loved one. First impressions as within any first meeting are important. As you can only meet for the first time once, you’d better do your best to make sure it goes well. In order to establish a trusting therapeutic relationship between the patient, their family and the health-care team, rapport must be established quickly. Every encounter can count, but not everything can be planned for. Continue reading