Tag Archives: beliefs

Palace of Care – A Tap on the Window

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Photo by pen_ash on Unsplash

The two brothers of my patient had asked to speak with me. We went to the little visitors lounge which was next door to their brother’s room. They wanted to know what was happening to their brother. They knew he was unwell but they needed to know the extent of his illness as they needed to make plans for the rest of the family.

I recounted the history of their brother’s illness. Worsening cancer had led to worsening pain, which we had only just controlled a week after he had been admitted. The pain had been troubling him for months but he had been too scared to interact with our hospice team. It was only in the past week when the pain had become unbearable that he had agreed to let us help him. I was about to talk about what I had seen, a daily deterioration in their brother’s condition when there was a tap at the window.

Tap, tap, tap. It was a branch from the tree outside hitting the window of the lounge. It was moving because a bird was flying from one part of the branch to another. A small bird with a grey back, light brown belly and white and black tail feathers shaped like a fan – A fantail. The brothers looked at each other through widened eyes, they looked scared. “It’s a fantail. You know what that means.”

Pīwakawaka/Fantail: in Māori mythology a messenger, brings news of death from the gods to the people.

We talked about how I thought their brother was dying. I thought he might only have days left to live and that we would try our best to keep him as comfortable as possible.

I think therefore I am? – On Packing

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Photo by Caroline Selfors on Unsplash

There are various methods of packing. Because of a tendency to pack at the last minute, I have mostly used the brute force method. Items fly across the room into my suitcase and start to resemble Smaug’s horde. A small mountain of treasure grows inside the suitcase until the invisible Jenga player makes one false move and causes an avalanche. My real-time 3-D modelling of a landfill is completed by my hands formed into the blade of a bulldozer, smoothing over the lumpy former pile. The lid of the overflowing suitcase is closed and then I take a run-up before launching myself into the air. My version of the people’s elbow rains pure pain down on the hapless plastic container. Gravity comes into play and the suitcase’s clasps are barely forced closed. Queen and David Bowie’s hit “Under Pressure” starts playing in the background. I pity the poor TSA worker who may open my case, as the contents could fly outwards in an explosion rivalling the Big Bang.

The previous method would’ve taken about 15 minutes in total and would’ve expended an impressive 2000 calories. My significant other looks at everything the method represents with utter disdain. The diametrically opposed way to deal with baggage is based on the premise that if you roll clothing up you can fit more into your suitcases and bags. Legends speak of squeezing the air out of things, allowing greater volumes of items to be placed inside. Everything is in its place and a place for everything. Even the deepest darkest secrets?

Are packing styles reflective of personalities? The guy who uses force is a brute? The orderly packer is organised in all facets of life? Not necessarily, we are all mosaics, made up of different personality aspects. What does your own patchwork quilt look like? What are the main features highlighted? What is important to you? How do you deal with life’s events? We all have our own baggage to deal with. Choose your method carefully.

I think therefore I am? – Homonyms and Other Words

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Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash

In the Chinese languages the word for the number 4 sounds like the word for death. Thus it is avoided as much as possible. In Chinese-dominated countries, buildings will have missing 4th, 14th, 24th floors, etc. On hotel room floors there will be missing rooms 4, 14, 24, etc. Such is the danger of the word that it must not be mentioned if at all possible. This can also occur in non-Chinese countries where members of the Chinese Diaspora have settled. Through a laborious application through the local city council, the former number 224 is now known as 222a.

To mention death is to welcome it. Don’t talk about it and you can avoid it. Keep away from hospitals if you don’t want to get sick. Don’t go to graveyards or the deadly malaise will be caught. Advance care planning can be a difficult subject to raise for members of such cultural/ethnic groups. Funeral insurance may be a hard sell. Death is not discussed and people become unfamiliar with it. What you don’t know about becomes a scary monster. Something to be feared.

Not many visitors want to take the tour of the local hospice. “What do you do for a job?” “Oh…you must be so…special,” whilst clutching a bulb of garlic in one hand and in the other prayer beads. Holy water, buy now before stocks run out.

The Palliative Care trainee greeted the Renal trainee, “How you doing?”

The Renal trainee replied, “I’m saving lives.”

The Palliative Care trainee thought to himself, “Sure you are, while I am saving quality of life.”

If people have trouble even talking about dying, how will they be when it comes to looking after dying people? How will the dying patient be treated? Will they be treated as a failure in life? Are they worthy of our care and attention? They can wait, they’re dying anyway. As if they had any say in the matter.

As medical technology has improved throughout the world, societies are less accepting that death is a fact of life. Death-denying cultures are on the rise at the detriment of some of the most vulnerable people on Earth, those who are dying. That doesn’t sound right to me. Maybe I’d better be careful in my choice of words.