Tag Archives: acceptance

Palace of Care – Making the most of it

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Charity Beth Long on Unsplash

After the death of her younger relative, she did not expect to be in the hospice again. She had been impressed by the care provided for the family. She was surprised to be there one month later. This time she was admitted as a patient for end-of-life care. She accepted this with no fear, she had been unwell for three years with her heart and lung issues. A previous gut issue had recurred and could not be overcome. She knew that she was dying and in some ways, it was an escape from her years of struggle and further suffering.

Returning to the same hospice, with the same family members less one member. Not the same as the last time she had been there. The perspective on the other side of the bed was different. She accepted her situation, she had been expecting that something like this would happen soon. In some ways, she had already prepared herself. Her world had been shrinking for some months because of her physical frailty. She was glad she had deteriorated whilst she was still visiting and staying with her family. If this had happened at her own home, she would have been alone, and far away from her support network. Instead, she had spent weeks with her favourite and most loved family members.

The lunch she was served was the best thing she had eaten all month. The hospital food and service just couldn’t compare. She asked if some of her family could stay with her overnight. This would be no problem at all. She fully intended to enjoy the next few days recounting family stories and looking through photos together. A chance to say goodbye before the inevitable happened. She was going to make the most of it.

Palace of Care – Leave Request

Posted on by
Reply
Photo by Kevin Gent on Unsplash

“Doctor, can I go out on leave this weekend?”

“What have you got planned?”

“I’m going home to spend time with my family, to see my children at home.”

“Will you be doing any cooking or cleaning?”

“No, I learnt my lesson last weekend.”

“You did too much?”

“Yes, I didn’t think to ask for help, I wanted to do the cooking all by myself. It used to be so easy. If I had allowed them to chop some vegetables I wouldn’t have been so tired.”

“It was a struggle wasn’t it?”

“Yes, I became irritated and grumpy.”

“You can certainly go home on leave but I don’t want you doing any work. You are there to rest and spend time with your kids. I don’t want you doing the housework.”

“I’ve had to let it go. After I am gone they will be in charge of the house and do things their own way.”

“It must have been hard for you to let go.”

“I don’t have much time left or energy.”

“You’re human, not superhuman.”

“Yes.”

“Are you going shopping again?”

“Yes, I have to buy clothes for the children…for them to wear to my funeral.”

“Buying the clothes sounds important to you.”

“I’ve always wanted them to look good. It’s important to look your best at all times.”

“Have a good weekend.”

“You too Doctor, see you Monday.”

I think therefore I am? – Yearning for connection

Posted on by
1
Photo by Toa Heftiba on Unsplash

What this palliative care doctor thinks:

It’s not just about language, that’s why Google translate can’t replace human interpreters at the moment. It might be able to translate the words literally from one language to another but it doesn’t yet have the cultural context of where the words came from. The history of the language has not been programmed into it. Take English for example a lot of the words we use are derived from French and other Latin-based languages. You don’t ask for sheep meat, you ask for mutton from the French mouton. Similarly beef, not cow meat, from the French boeuf. A translator program is not the same as an interpreter program. Google Interpret would have to be much more sophisticated and would need cultural programming as well as linguistic programming.

A person may be speaking Chinese, but they are also living Chinese. The food that they eat, the clothes that they wear. Rituals that they follow to celebrate life, and how they deal with death and dying are the missing parts of a person’s identity that cannot be easily translated.
The most important tool I have as a palliative care doctor is my ability to communicate. I make a point of greeting my patients in their native language as much as possible. My accented version of their language is my attempt at providing them with a hint of familiarity. In the area I work in people come from all over the world, from lots of different cultures, with over 200 different languages spoken in our area. I certainly do not know all the greetings that are available but a quick Google search can provide me with at least a few words of greeting. A little demonstration of respect that I have made the effort to try to connect with another human being. It may have taken me ten seconds to type in my query but it can often bring a smile to a weary sufferer, whose illness has taken over their body. Someone for whom English may be a second or third language. A little snippet of home, can make a real difference.

Continue reading →